A member of Nigeria’s most popular online forum, ‘Nairaland’ has made a compilation of the ten worst quotes of 2013 by public figures in Nigeria.
Surprisingly, “my oga at the top” didn’t make number 1. Guess which one made number 1?
It’s simply hilarious.
Coming in at Number 10 is:
“I am the best rapper in Nigeria. If you
have an opposing opinion, now is the best
time to keep it to yourself”
Rapper Yung6ix having his imagined Kendrick
Lamar moment. Dear Yung6ix; make good music,
put out an album, put your name out there.
Maybe then we’ll take you seriously.
9) “Any academic staff who fails to resume
on or before December 4, 2013
automatically ceases to be a staff of the
institution and vice chancellors are also
directed to advertise vacancies in their
This was stated by Nyesom Wike, the Education
minister, in the middle of the lingering ASUU
strike. This caused even more problems and
deepened the crisis. Wike’s press conference
during which he was screaming at the
microphone and yelling threats became an
instant visual manual for government officials on
how not to act in public.
8 ) “I was not a tribalist when I had a long-
standing and intimate relationship with
Miss Bianca Onoh, an Igbo lady…”
Femi Fani Kayode, the former aviation minister
and presidential spokesman, while he had so
many disastrous statements, he got more than he
bargained for when in defending himself against
tribalism attacks, bizarrely claimed to have had a
sizzling relationship with Bianca Ojukwu, widow of
the late Biafran warlord. He was forced to recant
when she threatened to sue him for every penny.
7) “We have stolen billions of dollars, what
did you do? We steal because you never
stoned us for it.”
Governor Rotimi Amechi of Rivers state makes
provocative statements one after after another.
His latest one was dropped at a tribute event for
Nelson Mandela some weeks back, and it was
both an indictment on himself as it was on his
6) “Come, sit on my laps and I will show you
a level of grace you do not understand.”
According to Ese Walters, repentant adultress
and misguided victim, senior Pastor Biodun
Fatoyinbo of the Commonwealth Of Zion Assembly
must have been using these cringe worthy lines
to score with wide-eyed members of his female
congregation. The most surprising part of this line
is that it actually works. His sweet roll came to an
end when she published a tell all blog post
revealing the pastor’s many sexcapades. Pastor
Fatoyinbo is yet to deny Walters’ claims. And is
yet to give that robust response.
5) “As the president, I don’t know him (Abu
Shekau) and don’t know if he is dead or
alive; you journalists will know more than
us. You are the ones who talk to Boko
In a presidential media chat, Goodluck Ebele
Jonathan pronounced the words never to be
spoken by a country’s chief security officer. In
denying the whereabouts (and maybe existence)
of Abu Shekau, Boko Haram’s point man, Mr.
President took the war on terror 10 steps back.
4) “Yes, Patience Jonathan is my Jesus
Now this would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. And
true. Evans Bipi of the Rivers state house of
assembly was speaking from the bottom of his
heart when he declared dame Patience Jonathan
(aka mama Peace) his deity as she was
responsible for his political career so far.
3) “I cannot categorically tell you one now…
the one we are going to make use of is
going to be made known by my oga at the
Mr Obafaiye Shem, former Lagos state
commandant of the National Security and Civil
Defence Corps was asked a simple straight
forward question by the hosts of Channels tv’s
daily breakfast show. “What is the website of the
NSCDC?” It became his undoing as he went on a
rambling routine that did not produce the answer
to the question but succeeded in shedding light
on the pathetic state of affairs of our public
2) “We do not pray for accidents but it is
inevitable… we do everything to ensure
that we do not have accidents, but it is an
act of God.”
Stella Oduah, Aviation minister addressing
journalists 3 days after 16 people lost their lives in
the Associated airlines crash that was ferrying the
remains of Olusegun Agagu, a former aviation
minister. Of course, as it turned out, God had
nothing to do with this particular crash as the
Accident Investigation Bureau revealed that a
malfunctioning engine and a wrong call by the
pilot was most likely the cause.
1) “You are a widow… go and die”
Oh dear! Edo state governor, Comrade Adams
Oshiomhole became this year’s face of
insensitivity when he was recorded on video,
yelling at a poor widow displaying her wares
illegally by the roadside to go and die. He later
had tea with his victim and rewarded her
generously but still, that image lingers.
Although the year is not quite ended but it is expected that public figures who do not wish to be part of this infamous list will keep their mouths shut…at least until January 1, 2014.